Finding Stability with Ripple - Holly's Story

My name is Holly and I have been asked to share about my life. I hope someone can relate to my story and be encouraged!

As a child, I battled anxiety and depression. I was bullied for multiple reasons - how quiet I was in school, my weight, my father’s sexual orientation and my teeth. I would bury myself in my schoolwork to distract from the pain I felt. I always had good grades in school, but I was dealing with daily panic attacks and would often skip school just to avoid the bullying.

My parents divorced before I was born, but worked to maintain a good relationship and let me know that I was loved. My relationship with my mother was strained because of relationships she had with abusive men, so I was always closer to my aunt.

As I got older, I found a love for music and dance! I played clarinet in the marching band and participated in color guard. I really had no interest in dating in my teens, since a previous trauma created an aversion to any dating period. I was talkative and social with my small group of friends, but quiet to everyone else.

My mom worked long hours and multiple jobs to provide for me and my sisters. As a child I didn’t understand or appreciate it, but as an adult I see how much she pushed and did for us daily. My father battled cancer throughout my childhood and into my young adult life until he passed away in 2013.

After high school, I went to college and lived with friends. I did not know much about managing money, so I got into some debt during that time.

One of my biggest challenges was not asking for help when I needed it. If I’m honest, this is still something I struggle with now. After I moved out, I felt like my parents had enough on their plate and I didn't want to burden them with my struggles. Even when I was falling apart, I would try to look "put together". Learning to be vulnerable is still something that I am working on to this day.

Dealing with depression, anxiety and PTSD throughout my life has led to many financial problems. I tried to cope with my problems with impulse spending and, at my lowest, shoplifting. The trauma I endured has affected my work life, home life, and relationships.

I have struggled with abusive relationships throughout my life. I’ve never been good at “dating.” Throughout my young adult life I was told that my chances of having children on my own were low due to health problems. This was really hard for me because I wanted to be a mom from a young age. I have always been passionate about protecting and nurturing children, which is why I chose to work with at-risk youth. I think, if I could just give one kid the love and support they need, then I’ve made a difference.

I now have a four year old son named Lucian who I thank God for constantly. He is very high energy and that keeps me on my toes, but he brings balance to my life.

Holly and her Son Lucian

Now that I am in Ripple, the biggest difference in my life is my focus on my mental health. I have started seeing a therapist again. I am learning to be kinder to myself and less negative. In the past I didn’t see a positive future for myself. I am now able to mentally and financially plan for the future. I now have a monthly budget, emergency savings, a savings account for my son, and my Ripple savings account that I put money into each month to be matched!

My son and I now have a stable place to live and Lu has his own room! Ripple helped me find the place I am renting which has made a huge difference

in our lives. I am able to continue my education by attending classes at Liberty University, something I would not have been able to do without Ripple’s educational internship program. I finally have confidence in myself and it’s growing each day.

Ripple is a wonderful program. I have made connections with people and have grown even in the short time I’ve been involved with it. I am excited to see how it continues to affect me and what the future holds. It’s hard work, but it’s worth it!